Contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all.  If this was true there shouldn't be any bitterness, anger, or resentment after some time and we can all get on with our lives when that time expires.

But I know plenty of people, myself included, that can rummage through a breakup like it happened yesterday even though it happened years ago.  Ever talked to someone who wouldn't stop telling the same old story about their ex or the breakup?  Yeah, don't be that person.

All pain is stored in the body and mind until they're released. Time has nothing to do with it.

The best way to get over any breakup is to go THROUGH it.

Be courageous enough to go into your pain and hurt, sit with the discomfort, and feel all your emotions without getting lost in them.

How?  By re-evaluating the stories you tell yourself about yourself, the ex, and the breakup.

What's usually running through your mind after a breakup?  Are they victim stories about yourself?

• “I'm not good enough.”
• “He doesn't care about me.”
• “I'm unlovable.”
• “I won't ever find love again.”

What about the stories about your ex?

• “He hurts me so badly. He lied and cheated on me. I can't trust anyone again.”
• “How could he be so heartless after everything I've done for him? All men are jerks!”
• “Why can't he make me happy? He told me he loves me.”

And the stories about the breakup or relationship?

• “Did I make a mistake? Maybe if I just stick to it a little longer he will change his ways.”
• “I thought we were meant to be together forever. What am I supposed to do now? I'm helpless without him.”

Change the narrative, change the outcome.

Most of us aren't aware of how powerful these stories are. They contain the key to our core identities, belief systems, behaviors, and actions.  Whether you can get over a breakup successfully or not depends on what you tell yourself and the stories you keep repeating to others.