One of the biggest misconceptions about love is that you must keep the one you love close to you or be together to make each other happy.  That's possessive behavior, co-dependency, and insecure attachment.  Not real love.

Real love is expressive, accepting, and allowing.  I learned this by letting my greatest love go again and again.  

I loved and still love him dearly but he didn't want to be with me so I had to let him go OUT OF LOVE.  It was one of the most difficult things I had to do but I knew it was the right decision when I felt a great sense of peace afterward.     

Am I completely at peace with it all the time?  Heck no!  I still think about him all the time but my reactions would vary from tremendous pain to peaceful acceptance, sometimes all in a matter of minutes!  Here's what I discovered while going through this process:

There are 3 levels to letting go (in no particular order):

1.  Physically:  This one is obvious but it took me close to a year to grieve our physical separation.  Not because I didn't want to but because I didn't know I needed to.  I remember driving home one day when an immense sadness washed over me.  I didn't know what it was or where it came from until an image of him popped into my head.  I had to stop the car and cry.  I cried for not being able to see him, talk to him, laugh with him, and how much I missed him holding me.  Being able to sit in the pain and grieve it all was like pulling out forgotten needles stuck inside my heart.  Yes, some blood was shed but at least the ache had lessened.   So allow yourself to grieve the physical separation.  That special touch, sense, smell and presence that is no longer here with you.  It’s perfectly normal and ok to miss that, even if you know you guys are over.    

2.  Mentally:  One of the first things I learned not to do was to forcibly stop thinking about him.  Whatever you resist will persist!  So instead of going against a tsunami of thoughts, I ride it out by journaling and holding space for them.  I grieved for past memories and future loss dreams.  I allowed the fear, obsession, and mental noise to just be.  Observing them with love and compassion without being attached to them.  Then I slowly let them go, one by one until the day when I'm not in pain thinking about them.

3.  Emotionally:  This one requires brutal honesty and for me, it wasn't a matter of letting go but accepting my feelings as they are.  I can't deny my love for him nor push it aside, but I can learn to hold space for that love, without the physical attachment, mental obsessions, or emotional expectations. None of this was easy and sometimes it was next to impossible.  However, each time I moved through what felt like an inferno, I “leveled up,” gaining more insights, self-love, and inner peace.

To love is to learn to let go when it's time, especially when you don't want to.  

Letting go doesn't mean you give up on your beloved or love that person any less.  Quite the opposite.  It's an expression of love, the most selfless and loving gesture of all, both toward yourself and the other person.  When you love someone deeply, it doesn't matter if you're with them physically or not.  It would be great if you were, but it's not necessary for that love to exist.  Real love doesn't need any grand gesture or require you to be together to prove your love.  So if the person you love doesn't want to be with you, accept that for what it is, respect their choice, and set them free.